It funny how some situations, pictures, moments or songs...etc. can bring up an old memory or make you think of someone close. Just like when you smell something it triggers a memory. It is what makes life that much more enjoyable, memories. We create new ones every day and for some everyday :)
I was out taking photos and took a shot. Started think of an old friend from NY that was one of the few that came out to visit me when I was out west. We were not the closest friends before, but she had a kind heart and was lost in her ways. Seamed like she was trying to find a new life and/or get away from herself...her memories.
I found out from a mutual friend today, that right after she some out west to visit me, she got home and overdosed on pills. I had no clue that she was even doing anything like that from her visit with me...I am usually a pretty good judge of people that are using...since I surrounded myself with quite a few addicts growing up. She was clean while out west for a few weeks. Then she just up and left. Was out of touch for a bit and she said she was having family issues with her father being sick. Then, she was gone...I guess forever.
It is hard to think that I may have seen some of the worry and the questions in her head, now that I know how the ending was...
I think that if we all knew how it would end, we could not only help ourselves, but we could help others. I guess that is why I love life. It is impossible to control, and im OK with that.
Adreanna, this picture is for you. May you find peace in something more than a memory can capture*
hmm, but if we all knew how our lives and our friends lives were going to end nothing would be in our control. we would not be able to help anyone at all because the plans would have already been set and everyone would be aware of each others demise. life would be more like watching a movie but with less emotion, no anticipation just an awareness of what to expect. no curiosity, no concern, no encouragement, no feeling of achievement etc.
ReplyDeletenot knowing the future is the best gift we can have. however.....i truly believe that intuition is a subtle form of clairvoyance that we are all lucky enough to have. it's our own intuition that picks up on the unseen and unheard and makes us think to ask questions and dig deeper than what we can see on the surface and assume from body language and impressions. but even though we all have intuition we also have the ability to counteract that and disguise our emotions from other people because we know what they will be looking for in us.
there's no win win situation when it comes to difficulties in life. i am very sorry that your friend hid her habits and troubles from you. i'm really sorry that this happened.